I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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