I want to have your abortion
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
