Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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