just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
