As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
