i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
