the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
should my penis look like a turkey
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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