I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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