bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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