Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
