Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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