Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
