i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He did a backflip because drugs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
