they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize