I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
