C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
