So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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