I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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