I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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