i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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