Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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