Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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