sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
