I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
