She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
