I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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