What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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