I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
