the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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