how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
