3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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