You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
