He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
