May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
