there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
