is your mom at the bar?
worst night to have a conscience
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
