it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
