oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
