i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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