he thought i was a dude.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
