it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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