I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
