okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
