Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
