omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
