So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
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Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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