Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
