Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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