I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
