He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't deserve a penis
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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