"it" just moved
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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