how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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