Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
