My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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