Barsexuality is the new black.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
