she looked like the bat from fern gully.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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