I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Randomize
