Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
