I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I look better un-naked...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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