come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
