OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
