I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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