I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
