you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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