You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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