He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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